Batteries
by Stablerfan
Summary: Olivia is not happy when she finds out about Tuckson. It's odd. It's quick. It's unusual. It's parody.


**Just a quickie... unlike what Olivia and Elliot have in this story - they've been going like bunnies for five years.**

 **Olivia takes action on this ridiculous Tuckson storyline.**

 **Batteries**

"It's bad Stabler. Real bad, but we can't tell Olivia how messed up this has got." Fin said.

Elliot sunk back into his chair as he looked across the desk at Fin. "Well it was good while it lasted. She has to know though - when she comes back she needs to know the whole story. It won't help her to keep this shit from her - all it'll do is piss her off." He paused, looking at Fin, "she's not gonna be happy."

"Shit," Fin muttered, as he glanced up and noticed Lieutenant Benson arriving, "don't let her see you."

Elliot laughed, "Dealing with her is easy enough - just none of you have the guts to do it - what are you scared of?"

"I ain't scared, just feels weird." he paused, "you do it."

"Why me? I go over there and she's gonna…." Elliot began.

"Blow a gasket?" Munch said, as he walked in, because there's no way he wouldn't know what was going on this entire time.

Fin laughed at Munch's amused smile, which did not falter despite Elliot's angry glare.

"Anyone actually filled Liv in on everything?" Munch asked.

"She's gonna be joining us soon," Elliot said as he glanced at the clock on the wall.

"You didn't talk to her about this Tucker bullshit?" Fin asked.

"No, we were having a good night - I figured I could tell her then, and ruin her night, or tell her today. It won't make much difference." Elliot shrugged.

"Well, she took it well." Munch said, shaking his head.

"She did _what_?" Elliot asked, "you _told her_ about Tucker?"

Munch laughed, "Relax Stabler. I called her on my way in. She's gonna take care of this herself - so keep out of it. You, on the other hand, knew about this since yesterday morning and neglected to break the news to her."

"She pissed?" Elliot asked.

"She said you had some making up to do, I told her I didn't want to hear the sordid details, so _please_ don't update me on that." Munch said, looking at Elliot with mock seriousness.

Fin laughed, and leaned back in his chair, keeping an eye on the door. "You can't complain Stabler, you've had five years."

Elliot glared at him and was about to launch into a justification on why five years wasn't _nearly_ long enough, when the door suddenly opened.

They looked up in surprise, and Fin's eyes narrowed while he took a moment to assess her. Relaxing, he smiled warmly, " _Liv_ , good to see you."

"You too Fin, it's been too long since we caught up - let's not go a whole month next time." she said with a smile, before turning to Elliot and crossing her arms.

Elliot held up his hands in surrender, "I only found out yesterday, scouts honor."

"I'll deal with you later," she said, looking at him with a mixture of humour and flirtation.

Munch rolled his eyes, "Can't you two keep it out of the office for five minutes? You've had _years_ and you're still not over the honeymoon period. I need your secret, i've barely made it _past_ the honey period. _Four times_."

"So she's hooked up with Tucker, Liv. Guess you're coming back to work, and she's out of here?" Fin said.

"Oh she's out of here alight," Olivia said as she turned around and opened the door.

Glancing back, she noticed the three men freeze, "Let's end this now. She's destroying my reputation. It's embarrassing at this point."

They all stood up and followed her as she walked purposely across the squad room. She did not pause when she got to the office, simply grasping the door handle, and throwing the door open wide.

Munch and Fin entered after her, with Elliot following behind as he closed the door and leant on it, folding his arms, in that incredibly sexy way he does.

Lieutenant Benson looked up at them all and froze.

Olivia smiled as she placed her hands on the desk and leant forward, "Listen up. Elliot and I needed some alone time. He put in his papers and we ran away together. We got married. I replaced myself with a robot, because with Elliot retired, we basically wanted to spend all day, every day in bed having amazing non stop sex."

"Well, not just the bed Liv, I mean we _are_ pretty creative." Elliot said.

Olivia glanced over her shoulder with a sexy smile, raising an eyebrow, "creative, _and_ flexible."

"Spare us the details!" Munch said, as he and Fin turned to look at her in shock.

Olivia laughed and turned back to face Lieutenant Benson, growing serious again immediately.

"I don't know what the hell went wrong with you, but you've gone _very_ wrong. You're sleeping with Tucker? _With Tucker_? What the hell? I paid a small fortune for you, and I expected better!" Olivia said in disgust.

"Yeah, I mean you're not the superior model, but you don't expect a deluxe mark 3 robot to go screwing internal affairs." Elliot said, annoyed.

Lieutenant Benson just stared at them, blinking, "but I love tucker. He makes me happy. He makes me complete. He makes me whole again. We are going to get mar…"

Olivia cut her off, as she grabbed her, spinning her around and throwing her down over the desk, lifting up her shirt as she ran her hands across her back.

"You can kill me later for pointing this out Liv, but that looks kinda hot." Elliot said.

Olivia looked up at him and glared as she continued fumbling around while leaning down on the Oliviabot. Suddenly the Oliviabot froze and Olivia stood up with a satisfied smile.

"There," she said, as stretched out her arm, dropping two batteries to the ground, "that puts an end to that Tucker crap."

"It certainly does Liv, and we all thank you for it." smiled Munch.

Turning to Elliot, she walked up to him seductively, before slipping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, " _you_ on the other hand, have some serious making up to do."

Munch and Fin shook their heads and made a quick exit, as Elliot laughed and captured her lips.

"I'll make it up to you any way you want. I'm at your mercy Liv," he said, before they broke into a passionate kiss, while the Oliviabot remained motionless and deactivated.

Munch sat down at Fin's desk, unable to hide the satisfied smile he wore. "Toss you for it?"

"Heads." Fin said confidently.

Munch pulled out a coin from his pocket and tossed it into the air, catching it on the back of his hand skillfully. He closed his eyes, and whispered, "tails, tails tails."

Fin laughed, "just show me. Come on."

Munch lifted his hand and sighed, "damn it. Tails."

"Wanna watch?" Fin asked with a smile.

"Do I want to watch while you tell Tucker that he never got his slimy hands on Olivia and he was in fact with a robot the whole time?" Munch asked. "Try and stop me."

With the Oliviabot deactivated, and Benson and Stabler making out hot and heavy in the office, Munch and Fin broke into laughter as they headed out of the squad room to give some home truths to Ed Tucker.


End file.
